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We live in a time with many new ideas about life and success. One shift in mindset that we see is that hard work in serving others, especially within the family, is often seen as a less valuable contribution than personal advancement. This view particularly affects how women’s roles are understood. Some modern movements encourage women to focus almost entirely on their own goals, especially professional ones, while giving less importance to family expectations and responsibilities. The message often given is that caring for others may hold a woman back, while putting the same energy into work outside the home is a mark of empowerment.
In this way of thinking, making sacrifices for loved ones can seem unfair, and women are sometimes advised to distance themselves from those who do not support their ambitions. A common concern raised is that serving others could cause a woman to lose her personal identity, while men appear to have more freedom in choosing their paths. The home is then portrayed as a place of limitation rather than a place of honor.
From an Islamic perspective, this misses a deeper truth: service, khidmah, is not a loss. It is an opportunity for immense reward that is a gift and a mercy from Allah ﷻ. It is an honor that He has given to women in a way that reflects their unique strengths, and through it, He has opened for them a direct path to His pleasure and to Paradise. When done with sincerity, khidmah is a powerful act of worship, and can potentially advance an individual spiritually to ranks far beyond even what years of night prayer could. Far from being a disadvantage, it is a station of dignity that carries blessings in this life and the next. Note the story of Uways al-Qarnī, who never met the blessed Prophet ﷺ due to his preoccupation with serving his elderly mother, and his rank was elevated such that the Prophet ﷺ himself told the great companions Abu Bakr and ʿUmar (raḍī Allah ʿanhum) to visit him and seek his intercession.
When this understanding of the value of khidmah is lost, families and communities suffer. We see this in societies where parental presence in the home is rare and family bonds weaken. But for the believer, every act, whether public or private, is an opportunity to seek Allah’s reward. Service, especially within the family, is one of the clearest examples of this.
Allah has given women a high rank, and in many of the roles only they can fulfill, service is at the heart:
As a daughter: The Prophet ﷺ said, “Whoever cares for these daughters and treats them well, they will be a shield for him from the Fire” (Bukhārī). Daughters often show deep compassion and spend much time supporting their parents, which is a virtue through khidmah. One of the most touching examples is when Fāṭimah رضي الله عنها cared for the Prophet ﷺ after the disbelievers hurt him. She wiped the blood from his face and tended to his wounds, showing the love, loyalty, and service that daughters are capable of at the highest level.
As a wife: She is a source of comfort, the completion of half her husband’s faith, and the protector of his wealth and family. The Prophet ﷺ said, “This world is but a passing enjoyment, and the best of it is a righteous wife.”He ﷺ also said, “When a woman prays her five (daily prayers), fasts her month, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise through whichever of its gates you wish.’” This is a clear example of Allah’s mercy, offering her the reward of guaranteed Paradise just for fulfilling acts that strengthen her home.
As a mother: The Prophet ﷺ said, “Paradise lies beneath the feet of mothers.” Bearing, giving birth to, and raising a child is among the greatest forms of service, and raising them well becomes an ongoing charity that benefits her long after she has left this world.
It is also important to remember that khidmah is a virtue for both men and women. Islam honors men who serve their parents, care for their families, and dedicate themselves to the well-being of others. The difference is that women often receive more opportunities for service within the family setting, which is something that should be recognized as a blessing, not as a sign of gender-based oppression. This greater share of service brings with it greater opportunities for reward, and it reflects Allah’s wisdom in giving each person a path suited to their strengths and nature.
The roles of khidmah are not a burden meant to diminish women. They are an advantage and a mercy that Allah ﷻ has given them above others. It is a source of honor, a shield from the Fire, and a direct road to Paradise. For anyone seeking the Hereafter, it is one of the most beautiful and rewarding stations to embrace.